Saturday, July 17, 2010

One of the most hated things in the world - Homework


Before you say "Homework, who needs it?", think again. You need it, my friends. It's not just there to make your life miserable. In fact, it benefits you a lot.

Here are a few good reasons for doing homework :
1. It helps you practice skills that you haven't fully learned yet. And it helps you review skills that you haven't learned.
2. It gives you the chance to finish up tasks that you couldn't get done during school hours.
3. It helps you to learn and grow.

Now repeat after me : "Homework is not horrible." (Well, not that horrible.)
"I can do my homework WITHOUT THROWING UP!!!"

People who say homework is a waste of time don't know what they're talking about. They'll probably grow up without useful skills and might end up with jobs they really don't like.


Ten terrible excuses for not doing your homework :

1. I don't feel like it.
2. No time.
3. Homework? What the heck is homework?
4. I left it at school, on the bus, in the cafeteria...
5. I have to watch my favourite TV show.
6. Nobody reminded me.
7. Homework is really really really really BOOOOR-ing.
8. I have better things to do.
9. I didn't write down the assignment.
10. My dog ate it.


So, how to organise your homework? Make a homework schedule. This will tell you exactly when to do your homework and when to do all the really fun stuff that keeps you from doing homework.

Hang your schedule on the fridge or in your room so you don't forget about it. AND, do not ever crumple, mangle, spit on, sneeze on, throw up on, wipe your dirty fingers on, or tear your homework schedule into a million pieces!!!


Example of a bad homework schedule :

4:00 to 7:30 : Play outdoors, feed the dog, eat dinner, play video games, feed goldfish, read comic book, pick nose, twiddle thumbs, stare at the ceiling for the longest time.

7:30 to 9:30 : Do it all again and watch TV.

9:30 : Go to bed.

9:31 : Stare at the ceiling again, remember big major homework assignment you didn't do, sweat profusely, bite fingernails, wish for a flood or other disaster to happen so you won't have to go to school tomorrow.

Example of a good homework schedule :

4:00 to 4:30 : Play outdoors, have a quick and healthy snack.

4:30 to 5:30 : Homework time! Breathe deeply, do homework, think hard, stretch, think harder.

5:30 to 7:00 : Stop homework, play, feed dog, call a friend, eat dinner.

7:00 to 8:00 : Finish up any remaining homework.

8:00 to 9:30 : Free time (if your homework is done).

9:30 : Go to bed, sleep like a baby, dream about how happy your teacher will be about your completed homework!

Besides that, find a homework helper. Get a good friend, a parent or relative, to help you with your homework. A homework helper will help you understand things.

Do your homework in the same place every day. This way, the moment you sit down, you automatically switch into homework mode. As time goes by, this will become a routine and doing your homework will become easier.


You cannot watch television and do your homework at the same time. It doesn't work! People who do their homework while watching television often develop 'TV-Homework-Neck' (a nervous twitch-of-the-head that occurs as a result of continually flicking your head up to get a quick look at the television as you work. The more you flick, the more you twitch. The more you twitch, the more you flick).



If noise bothers you while you're doing your homework, tell everyone in the house to PLEASE BE QUIET! If they don't listen, call a family meeting and say, "Hey, I'm a responsible student. I'm dedicated to furthering my education. I am determined to be somebody. So... please HUSH for goodness sake!"

Sometimes it helps to have a little intermission while you're doing your homework. Little breaks during homework help to refresh your mind. When I say a little break, I mean a LITTLE break of five minutes. Not a four hour break that includes three television shows, a basketball game, two pieces of toast, teasing the neighbour's dog, reading all your comic books and playing video games.

Homework can be useful! If you want something from your parents, the best way to get it is to use your completed homework as a tool. To make this really well for you, use the words "I've done my homework," after every sentence. For effective results, always drop your voice when you say "done my homework". For example, "Mom, I need the new X-Men comic book. I've done my homework. And the store down the street has those comics. I've done my homework. Can you drive me there because I have... done my homework.

Doing your homework makes parents very happy. A happy parent will make you happy, and a happy you will make your homework easier to do.


Participating in class makes homework easier to do because the more involved you get, the better you'll understand what you're being taught.

In class, think for yourself. If you keep asking other people for the answers, you won't undestand the material and your homework will be hard to complete.


If you sleep in class, you won't even know that you have homework to do!



Feeling down ... or depressed about your homework means you need help. Ask your teacher or parent for help. They might suggest that you get a tutor. A tutor can teach you things you're having trouble understanding and will help you sharpen your skills. Don't be afraid to get a tutor.
Once you've received the help you need, you'll feel A LOT better about your homework and yourself.





Drinking alcohol or using drugs does not make homework easier to do. It just makes you a dope!!! And MORE IMPORTANTLY, alcohol and drugs are very bad for your health!!! Don't even try them!!!


Your teacher didn't invent homework, so don't try to make your teacher's life miserable. For example, do NOT stick a big piece of gooey chewed-up bubblegum on your teacher's chair!!


If the sight of homework makes you want to puke, let your teacher know. Say, "Sir or Ma'am, I'm going to throw up all over this homework because I don't understand it. I feel green, I have a headache, and I'm afraid I'm going to fail. I need some help, please!!"

Believe it or not, most teachers will not yell at you or make you feel stupid. Your teacher will HELP you. That's why your teacher is there.


NO!! Your teacher will not believe the toilet ate your homework!!

And your teacher will not believe the dog ate your homework either. DOGS DO NOT EAT HOMEWORK! A dog will throw up if it tries to eat any type of homework, especially if it's a science project.



Turn your homework into a good habit, like brushing your teeth. Soon you won't even know you're doing it.



Reading makes homework a lot easier to do. The more you read, the better you'll understand things. It's quite amazing. Without even knowing it, you'll get smarter. Reading opens your mind like a key opens a lock. It's automatic!

For practice, read anything and everything : great literature, poems, novels, non-fiction, plays, short stories, mysteries, magazines, newspapers, journals, your big sister's diary (OOPS! Just kidding!), maps, comic books, road signs, billboards, cereal boxes - the list goes on and on!

A great thing about finishing your homework is that you'll have free time to spend with your friends and family - without that nagging "Uh oh, gotta do my homework" feeling. After you've worked so hard, you'll have a great time watching a movie, having a picnic, going out for dinner or spending the rest of the day doing things you love to do.

WARNING!!! Homework has a serious side effects!! You might become smart and successful if you do all your homework!!

Not only will you feel relieved when you complete your homework, but you'll also feel proud. Being proud of what you do boosts your self-esteem. So, doing a good job on your homework can actually make you feel great about your accomplishments and yourself all at the same time.

Quick reminders :

  • Do your homework in the same place every time. Make sure it's a quiet place with the TV off.

  • Eat a meal or light snack before doing your homework.

  • Do the hardest assignments first.

  • Find a homework helper, if you need one. This can be a good friend, a classmate, or a parent. (Your goldfish cannot be a homework helper.)

  • Ask your teacher for help when you need it. (TIP : Do this while you're still at school. Desperately telephoning your teacher at midnight is NOT a good idea.)

  • Ask your family to respect your homework time. If you want, put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door (or on your forehead).

  • Take little breaks doing your homework time. Stand up and stretch, get a drink of water or an energizing snack, or do ten jumping jacks - whatever keeps you going.

Five Homework Gripes (and what to do about them!)

  1. "I don't have time." (Make time. Remember this : Homework is not optional!)

  2. "I don't understand it." (Ask your teacher for help before the school day is over. Do all the parts you can do, then figure out where you're stuck. At home, do not be afraid to ask an adult or your older brother or sister to help you.)

  3. "I can't ever finish it." (Find out why. Are you distracted? Are you having trouble in a certain subject? Ask your teacher or a parent for some advice about managing your time.)

  4. "I have to much homework." (Organize yourself. Make a homework schedule that says what you'll do and when you'll do it. Use a calendar to remind yourself of short-term and long-term assignments. Do not procrastinate! Ask your teacher to give you advance notice of upcoming projects so you canget an early start.)

  5. "I forget to bring my books home." (Remind yourself each day before you leave school to do a 'Backpack Check'. Do you have everything you need? Write little reminders to yourself on your notebooks, in your locker, on your hand - whatever works for you.)

The nicest thing about doing your homework is the feeling you get when it's DONE!!!


Doing your homework to the best of your ability will one day help you to reach as high as you can reach and as far as you want to go!

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